Sunday, April 1, 2012

My Crazee World of Dogs and Writing

If any of you have read my biography on my website ( then you would know that I am a dog groomer. Yes, dog groomer, author, mother, wife, cook, cleaner, chef, sister, daughter, friend, pooper scooper, dishwasher and so on and so on. You get my drift. hehehehe

I have been grooming dogs and a few cats (not crazy about grooming cats but I will do it) for over 17 years and BOY OH BOY, could I tell you some crazeeee ass stories. Give me a minute and I will. Hehe...WARNING THOUGH, IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ IT!!! Bahahahaha.

Hmmm...where do I start? Okay, well....once I was grooming a cocker spaniel and the poor guy was nervous as can be. His brown little legs shook while I was shaving him and he was also scared to take a bath, but when it came time to blow dry him....well let's just say...he gave the new meaning to SHIT FLIES!!! I had my head turned while blow drying him and when I glance back he started crapping all over the grooming table. I immediatly panicked and leaned over to turn off the blow dryer but not before I accidently aimed the hose at the shit and it literally flew all over the wall. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. I ending up calling my mother and crying to her about the shit all over the wall. She laughed, "What the hell do you want me to  do? Come up there and clean it?" Even though I didn't admit it, but deep down, I think I was hoping that she would have. Needless to say, I felt like a giant shitball all day and probably smelled like one too.

One evening after dinner, I sat down next to my husband. I said, "Guess what?" He looked over at me and said "What?"  I laughed and told him that a tall dark handsome man was hitting on me while I was work today. His blue eyebrows raised, "Really? Who was it?"  I laughed playfully. "Oh, no one you know." I teased. He turned around and gave me a peculiar look. "What's his name?"  He asked. I told him his name was Max and how tall dark and handsome he was. He had big dark eyes and was hung like a horse. My husband's eye grew wide. I laughed and proceeded to tell him the rest of the story. Max was a black lab mix. He was standing on the grooming table being a good boy while I was shaving him. He was tall so it was easy for my short 5'0 frame to reach under him and shave under his chest and belly. Well...while I was shaving under him, I felt this thumping on the back of my head. When I turned around, his big ole' hicky do was pointing right at me. I yelped and immediatly stood up. The horny guy was humping the back of my head while I was shaving him. My husband laughed so hard.

But grooming dogs has not been all fun and games. Besides getting bit a few times and nearly clawed to death by a few cats the best and worst part about grooming is falling in love with them. I have groomed many dogs for many years and it's easy to become attached to them and their owners too. When I get a phone call from a customer telling me that they had to put their dog down, a little piece of my heart shatters. *Sighs* Okay...enough of that!!!

Well...after 17 years, I can honestly say that I will never quit my day job as a groomer. Believe it or not, my dogs inspire me. For some ODDDDDD reason....all my story ideas come to me while I'm in the middle of grooming a dog. I was grooming a shih-tzu when the idea for The Unfaithful Widow popped into my head.  I was grooming a poodle when Remembering Zane came pouring through. GO FIGURE!!! But all in all....I LOVE GROOMING AND WRITING. Many of my stories have dogs in them...only one didn't have a dog and that was Remembering Zane but the rest of my stories...always expect a pooch somewhere in the story. I guarantee you will fall in love with the dog as much as the characters. I did. :)

1 comment:

  1. In the second last paragraph, 'Besides getting bit' should read 'Besides getting bitten'...sorry, Im a bit pedantic!