My Crazee World of Dogs and Writing

If any of you have read my biography on my website (www.jswilsoncroft.com) then you would know that I am a dog groomer. Yes, dog groomer, author, mother, wife, cook, cleaner, chef, sister, daughter, friend, pooper scooper, dishwasher and so on and so on. You get my drift. hehehehe

I have been grooming dogs and a few cats (not crazy about grooming cats but I will do it) for over 17 years and BOY OH BOY, could I tell you some crazeeee ass stories. Give me a minute and I will. Hehe...WARNING THOUGH, IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ IT!!! Bahahahaha.

Hmmm...where do I start? Okay, well....once I was grooming a cocker spaniel and the poor guy was nervous as can be. His brown little legs shook while I was shaving him and he was also scared to take a bath, but when it came time to blow dry him....well let's just say...he gave the new meaning to SHIT FLIES!!! I had my head turned while blow drying him and when I glance back he started crapping all over the grooming table. I immediatly panicked and leaned over to turn off the blow dryer but not before I accidently aimed the hose at the shit and it literally flew all over the wall. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both. I ending up calling my mother and crying to her about the shit all over the wall. She laughed, "What the hell do you want me to  do? Come up there and clean it?" Even though I didn't admit it, but deep down, I think I was hoping that she would have. Needless to say, I felt like a giant shitball all day and probably smelled like one too.

One evening after dinner, I sat down next to my husband. I said, "Guess what?" He looked over at me and said "What?"  I laughed and told him that a tall dark handsome man was hitting on me while I was work today. His blue eyebrows raised, "Really? Who was it?"  I laughed playfully. "Oh, no one you know." I teased. He turned around and gave me a peculiar look. "What's his name?"  He asked. I told him his name was Max and how tall dark and handsome he was. He had big dark eyes and was hung like a horse. My husband's eye grew wide. I laughed and proceeded to tell him the rest of the story. Max was a black lab mix. He was standing on the grooming table being a good boy while I was shaving him. He was tall so it was easy for my short 5'0 frame to reach under him and shave under his chest and belly. Well...while I was shaving under him, I felt this thumping on the back of my head. When I turned around, his big ole' hicky do was pointing right at me. I yelped and immediatly stood up. The horny guy was humping the back of my head while I was shaving him. My husband laughed so hard.

But grooming dogs has not been all fun and games. Besides getting bit a few times and nearly clawed to death by a few cats the best and worst part about grooming is falling in love with them. I have groomed many dogs for many years and it's easy to become attached to them and their owners too. When I get a phone call from a customer telling me that they had to put their dog down, a little piece of my heart shatters. *Sighs* Okay...enough of that!!!

Well...after 17 years, I can honestly say that I will never quit my day job as a groomer. Believe it or not, my dogs inspire me. For some ODDDDDD reason....all my story ideas come to me while I'm in the middle of grooming a dog. I was grooming a shih-tzu when the idea for The Unfaithful Widow popped into my head.  I was grooming a poodle when Remembering Zane came pouring through. GO FIGURE!!! But all in all....I LOVE GROOMING AND WRITING. Many of my stories have dogs in them...only one didn't have a dog and that was Remembering Zane but the rest of my stories...always expect a pooch somewhere in the story. I guarantee you will fall in love with the dog as much as the characters. I did. :)

There's a potatoe in my hair soup!

Let me guess. You are cocking your head to the side, cringing your face and saying "EWWWW....HAIR SOUP? WTH?  

Well...if you are a dog or cat owner you would understand this completely. LOL
Yes...I own 3 dogs, 4 if you want to count my Dad's dog, who is living here temporarily. I also groom dogs out of my home...so yes...there is HAIR!!! No..my home doesn't look like the inside of a kennel. I clean my home on a regular basis. I have to when you add two children to the mix. :)

So anyways....back to the soup. How many have you ever sat down at the dinner table and pulled a hair out of your spaghetti? If you said never...then you're lying. I know it sounds repulsive, but seriously...if you know that it's your spouse's hair, then what's the big deal, right? He or she showers everyday..it's not like you are at a restaraunt and it belonged to some Joe Blow behind the counter who has been sweating all day over the grill and who the hell knows how long ago he has showered.

One evening during my first year of marriage, I made a nice dinner for my husband. I served ravioli's, garlic bread and a salad and one long hair. My husband pulled it out of the sauce and ran to the bathroom gagging. At first I was pissed that he would act that way over my hair, but then I saw that the hair was black, the same color as our precious cocker spaniel, Annie. I laughed so hard that I nearly peed my pants. A few minutes later, my hubby walks into the kitchen. His face was flushed.

I patted him on the back and said, "Honey, if it makes you feel any better, Annie just got a bath today." He shook his head and sat back down at the table. Well, that was nearly fifteen years ago and many hairs later......he still get grossed out, but he doesn't run to the bathroom gagging anymore.

So as a pet owner...finding a hair in your soup...well....that comes with  the territory. Whether it's my spouse's hair or my yappy chihuahua...I gonna keep smiling and eating my dinner...because a little dog hair isn't gonna kill me.

TURNING 40 GRACEFULLY

Well...hells bells...I just looked at the calendar today and noticed that it was January 11th, one month before my 40th birthday. HOLY SHIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  UGH!!!!!

I knew that this day would come eventually...unless the good Lord has other plans for me. But 40????? I remember turning 30 and saying "Oh, I could be 50 tomorrow and it wouldn't bother me." Well WRONG-O!!  Now that I am near the big 4-0 it is terrifying. I am near the age now, where our bodies start to fall apart. Yippee!!  Our weight, vision, hearing (no luck from day one in that department) our hair and some of us unfortunate ones, start to shrink at this age. UGH!! For those that don't know me, I am a chubby woman that is only 5' tall and once osteoperosis kicks in...I AM SCREWED!!!!

People would say that once you reach 50 you are over the hill, but lets get real folks.....its 40. Thats when the grey hairs really start sprouting, sprouting to the point that we have to spend $50.00 or more every six weeks to keep our natural looking hair color and buy facial cream to keep our skin smooth and to keep those small wrinkles around our eyes and mouth from showing. Unless you are one of those freaks who dont age until your 60. I dont even want to hear about it. lol

I remember watching my mother, sit in front of the vanity mirror and cake her face with Oil of Olay. She would rub the cream all over her face and neck and arms. I never understood why she used so much cream.....until now.

Men...are lucky...(well most men) as they get older they start looking more distiguished, with their grey sideburns and beards. Women....we are no longer the fresh, firm, ripe peach.......but a shrivled up one with peach fuzz hair all over our body. Men would say that women as they age, are like fine wine..... Come on now....give me a break!!! What wine was he drinking? I thought most men only like drinking beer anyways????? LOL

Well....I know turning 40 isn't all that bad. I get to look back on my life and see all the wonderful things that I have accomplished. I have a wonderful hubby, two beautiful children, 3 dogs, a job and have just become a published author and I also have my health, even though I don't look like no spring chicken anymore...my hubby still loves the way I look. And lets face it...each grey hair that I  have..I earned it (whether I wanted it or not) lol

So the question is....Will I turn 40 gracefully? Truth??? Time will tell.  LOL    Maybe a with a few whiskey sours drinks, I won't mind it so much. hehehehehe

A Christmas Memory

I was nine years old with blonde hair, hazel green eyes and teeth that looked like Bucky Beavers. A face only a mother could love; my mother, Joyce.
My mother loved Christmas and always made sure that it was magical and special. Of course to any nine year old, everything about Christmas was special and magical. The music, the bright colorful lights, the smell of baked cookies and of course Santa and his presents. But it wasn't all those holiday treats that stuck out most in my mind. I don't remember what present I got for Christmas that year or what cookies I ate. There was one fond memory that forever took a spot in my heart and I will cherish it til the day I die.
I remember coming down the stairs after taking a bath. I was wearing my long pink nightgown. The smell of popcorn lingered throughout our two story house, making my mouth water.
"Here Jame, grab the bowl of popcorn on the counter." My mother said with a big smile on her face. I smiled back, eagerly waiting to see what she had planned for the evening. She grabs two big glasses of soda then walks towards the living room with me trailing behind her.
My father, Jim, was already in the living room, setting everything up. My eyes grew wide as he turned off all the lights except for the Christmas tree lights. Mom had laid out two large blankets across the living room floor, right next to the stereo.
I copied her as she laid down onto her stomach, facing the tree then began shoving handfuls of popcorn into her mouth. I looked up to see Dad standing in front of the stereo. Soon, the voice of Merle Haggard filled the living room as he sang "Santa Clause and popcorn, Jingle bells and reindeer horns."
I laughed as I watched and listened to mom and dad sing along to Merle. Soon, after swallowing a mouthful of popcorn, I joined in. The three of us lied on the floor for hours, eating popcorn and listening to some good ole fashion Christmas music.

My mother is gone now. It will be four years ago on December 21 and I still laugh and cry when I hear Merle Haggard's "Santa Clause and Popcorn" song. I thank my mother for giving me such a wonderful childhood Christmas memory. Love you Mom!!!!

A Cullens Thanksgiving

Here is a special treat in honor of the Twilight Saga and Thanksgiving.  Enjoy!!

                             Thanksgiving with the Cullens

                                                            

"Come on Dad!" Reneesme squealed pulling Edward’s arm. Edward followed along willingly with a huge grin across his stone face as I followed closely behind. Reneesme was excited that Thanksgiving was just a few days away. She wanted to show us where she and Jacob had found a flock of turkeys that were deep in the woods. "Shhhhh!" She whispers putting her tiny little finger to her lips. Even though this was her second Thanksgiving, it really felt like her first. With everything that had gone on in our lives last year, the Volturies, we really didn't get to celebrate the holidays the traditional way. Edward and I and the rest of the family, including Jacob, made a promise that we would make this a special holiday for Nessie. I watched my beautiful daughter as she gracefully walked through the woods. Her deep brown eyes glistened with delight as she spotted a turkey. I stood back, watching her and Edward pointing and whispering to each other about the turkeys. Nessie lifts her head up, sucking in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the wild bird. "Hmph! They don't smell too good do they?" She whispers to Edward. Her little nose crinkled in disgust. He chuckles quietly. "Most birds don't my love. But they do taste pretty good. Eating just one isn't very filling though." I laughed under my breath at his comment. Edward turns to look at me with his smoldering golden eyes, making my stone cold heart jump out of my chest. I gave him a wink then a smile. "Daddy! Look! Look at that big one there." She points at a turkey that stood in the middle of the flock. It stood at least a foot taller than the rest of the turkeys. "That one will fill you, Daddy." Nessie speaks louder, scaring the turkeys. We watched as they all flapped their wings and flew for safety. "WOW!" Her eyes lit up with amazement. We all held hands together as we walked back to the cottage.

           Alice was busy decorating our cottage for Christmas. She wanted it to be a surprise for Nessie. I was really looking forward to decorating as a family, but of course, Alice always gets her way. I did make one request. That Edward, Nessie and I decorate the tree. She put her lower lip out, pouting, but then she agreed. Of course, Edward was standing there glaring at her. I'm sure that made a difference.

Nessie let go of my hand to run ahead of us. Edward and I watched her as she happily skipped through the forest with her long bronze hair blowing gently in the wind. Edward's laugh was like a sweet melody to my ears as we watched Nessie continuing skipping through the woods, punching a tree here and there, knocking them to the ground. She turns to smile, exposing her pearly white teeth, as dimples formed around her little mouth. Even though she was just born last year, she has already grown to the size of a 5 year old. And her intelligence was way beyond our imaginations. Carlise was still studying about this. Wondering if this is also one of her many gifts that she already possessed.

          "Mommy! Look!" I looked up to see what Nessie was pointing at. A bright light was glowing ahead in the woods, in the direction of where our cottage stood. "Ugh! Please don't tell me that Alice has built a winter wonderland theme around our home." I moaned. Edward looked at me with a nervous smile. "Ugh!" I moaned again low enough so that Nessie wouldn't hear me. Nessie took off running at full speed. So we followed closely behind.

          "WOW!" She hollered so loud that it made Emmett's booming laugh sound like a whisper. Carlise, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Jacob were all standing in the yard in front of the cottage, chuckling. Nessie ran up and gave each and every one of them a hug, thanking them for the wonderful surprise.

Yep, I was right. Alice had built a winter wonderland. I glared at Edward for not stopping this but when I saw the look on Nessie’s face, how excited she was. I shook my head and bit my tongue. Alice turned and laughed at me then proceeded on to give us a grand tour. We all walked in a single file line with Nessie and Alice being first of course.

There was fake snow spread out all over the yard, front and back. The whole cottage itself was lit up, changing colors from blue to red to green to purple then back to blue and so forth. A real life-like Santa Claus was sitting in a sleigh with eight tiny reindeers in the front. It pretty much took up the front yard. “Ugh”. I moaned. Edward squeezed my hand, leaning down to kiss my hair. I wrapped my arms around his waist, as we continued to the stroll inside the cottage. Nessie with her mouth open wide, walked slowly soaking everything. Everyone else seemed entertained by Nessie wondrous reactions. I looked over at Jacob, he too was just as excited as Nessie was, as if it was his first Christmas too. I could feel a smiling cracking through my stone cold face.

          "Mommy! Daddy! Quick! She grabs our hands leading us towards her bedroom. A small gasp escaped my lips when I walked into her room. I had to admit I had never seen anything like it, except maybe on television. Her room was truly magical. Christmas music was playing softly in the background. There were red and white lights streaming from the ceiling from one end of the wall to the other. A huge spruce tree was in the corner of her room, decorated in a candy theme. An electric train chugged around the room with little puffs of smoke shooting from the steam engine. Nessie ran from one end of her room to the other looking and touching everything.

"Hahahaha, look at the train, there are little presents on the flat cars." She squealed.  "Nessie dear, those are real presents for you, one for each day of December for you to open." Alice's purred. Jacob sat on the floor to get a closer look at the train. He looked like a giant lying on the floor beside the small train and it's little presents. Nessie walked over and sat down beside him, both if them watching the train chug past them, making a circle around the tree until it came back again. Edward and I quietly walked out of her room to let her play. We continued to tour the rest of the house. I was relieved to see that she left our bedroom alone. The living room was decorated in maroon and gold. I had to admit everything looked very elegant, although it was too fancy for my taste, but I bit my tongue. I did notice that an eight foot spruce tree stood bare in the corner of the room. "Thank you." I whispered in Alice's ear as I hugged her.

          Thanksgiving Day was finally here. We all dressed up for this special occasion. Nessie was exceptionally darling in a sparkling purple dress with matching shoes. Purple was her favorite color, for now at least. She changes it about once a week. Last week it was lime green. Whatever is her favorite color is, Esme, Alice and Rosalie take her shopping and buy her a week’s worth of clothes in that color. I told them that they were spoiling her, creating a monster but that just brought on a roar of laughter.

Edward walked into the living room wearing a dark blue Armani suit. It still took my breath away when he came toward me. He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up to put his lips to mine. Nessie giggled as she watched us kiss. I grudgingly agreed to wear a Vera Wang sparkling blue dress. The strapless dress was a little too provocative for my taste. Naturally, Alice was the one who picked it out. Edward seemed to like the dress more than I did as ran his the back of his soft hands down my shoulder to my wrist, sending tingles through my body. "Behave! We have a dinner to attend." I whispered, nuzzling his ear. "Hmmmm." He moaned.

          This was all new to us, spending Thanksgiving the traditional way or the Cullen's way. The ten of us, including Jacob, went hunting for turkey. Nessie was the first to bag a turkey. Jacob went next, then we all followed. I had to laugh watching Emmett chase after a turkey. He couldn't decide which one he wanted. He ran around like a chicken with his head cut off. Of course, Edward got the big turkey, Nessie made sure of it. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves as I stood back, leaning against a tree, watching my new loving family play hide and seek with my daughter. Memories of my own Thanksgiving weren't this happy. But that was okay, as long as Nessie was having the time of her life, that was all that mattered to me. All because of Nessie, we started a new tradition today. I smiled knowing there was going to be many more new traditions in the Cullen’s house.

          "Bella love. We got to get going. Charlie will be expecting us soon."  Edward's sweet breath whispered to my ear. We all walked back to the Cullen's house laughing and singing. I was truly blessed. I would have given up my soul a thousand times over for this moment.

I WISH EVERYONE A SAFE AND HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Best of Both Worlds

Noooo...I'm not talking about Hannah Montana's song. I'm talking about me. Well...it's a comment that my husband says about me from time to time. He says that I have the best of both worlds. Why you ask....Well...I was born with a disability, a hearing disability. At four years old I was fitted for my first hearing aid and started speech therapy shortly after so that I was prepared for kindergarten. All through elementary I was treated like a special needy child. The teachers made me sit up front and were always making sure that I could hear them and understand what was going on in class. At that age, all I cared about was recess and snack time. But as I grew older, things weren't so simple. Of course being a teenager, I had the same problems as most other teenagers such as peer pressures and making friends and struggling to find myself (hmmm...of course that didn't come til much later).

As I look back in my teenage years, I really had it good then but I just didn't realize it.

I remembered one day while sitting in history class. My teacher, Mr. Selner was giving one of his long boring speeches about the tribes in Africa. My eyelids started getting heavy as I sat in my desk, staring at his lips ( I read alot of lips to communicate). I remembered reaching behind my ear and turning off my hearing aid (which I had done many many many times). The next thing I knew the whole class was staring at me and laughing. Mr. Selner was standing in front of me with a smirk on his face "Well class, Jamie is turning me off again." He chuckles. I could feel my face turning three shades of red in that split second. Needless to say, I didn't do it again in his class in fear of him catching me again.

Now that I am older, wiser and deafer. lol  Yes...I now where two hearing aids....well I'm supposed to. That's where my husband comes in and tells me that I have the best of both worlds. If I don't want to hear the kids screaming and fighting or the dogs barking or the neighbor guy blasting his stereo to "Money for Nothing" song from Dire Strait, I can simple take my hearing aids out or turn them off.

Although I have missed out on alot of joyous sounds, like the coos of my children when they were babies or the song of a bird singing in the morning or crickets chirping in the early evening. I'm sure that there are far more sounds that I would rather not hear. So if you come to me someday to nag and scream or bitch about something....and you see my reaching behind my ears, that is me turning you OFF!!!!

My Little Heathen

Hmmm....where do I begin? Oh yes...first I have to say "What was I thinking?" As an animal lover...I just invested in another puppy. Why do you ask? When I already have two (a 13 yr old Cocker spaniel and a 3 year old chihuhua). I don't know why....maybe I secretly want to be one of those animal hoarders. God help me!!!!
The newest addition to the Wilsoncroft family is a teacup chihuahua named Lola. She weighs only 1 lb 8 ounces, so really she doesn't take up alot of space but geesh....her bite makes up for everything else. Did I mention that she is a little heathen? When I compare her to my first chihuahua Sophie...there is NO comparison. Sophie was the most perfect and I say that with a capital "P" dog on the face of the Earth. She only ever peed once in my home and pooped once and as for chewing on my children's toys....she never did such thing. She played with her own toys which were always scattered all over the living room like a cyclone had come through it.
But what was I thinking? That all chihuahua puppies were this good? Hell to the NO!!! Sophie set the bar sooo high that poor Lola sits on the low end of the totem pole. Honestly.....looking back Sophie wasn't a normal puppy...just the perfect puppy. Lola is a normal active rug muncher who does what puppies do best...peeing, pooping and chewing. Thank God she is cute because honestly...that is what is saving her little white fuzzy ass.....and the fact that I do love puppy breath.

That is another story all together....Puppy breath......the second best smell next to the smell of a newborn baby.