Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Twilight Christmas Story: Twas the night before Christmas Cullens Style


      'Twas the night before Christmas
      when all through the house.
      Not a creature was stirring
      not even a Cullen.

      The stockings were hung
      by Alice with care.
      In hopes that St. Nicholas
      would come he if he dares.

      The Cullens were nestled
      all snug in the woods.
      While visions of animals
      danced in their heads.

      And Bella in her sweats
      and I in my sweater
      Had just settled down
      for a long winter's weather.

      When out in the woods
      there rose such a clatter.
      I sprang from a crouch
      to see what was the matter.

      Away to the door
      I flew like a flash.
      Tore open the hinges
      it made a loud crash.

      The New Moon of the glow
      of the new fallen snow.
      Gave a luster of midday
      to dinner below.

      When, what to my golden eyes
      should appear.
      But a monsterous wolf
      eating eight tiny reindeer.

      With his russet color flanks
      so lively and quick.
      I knew in a moment
      it must be Jake.

      More rapid than eagles
      his brothers they came,
      And he barked and growled,
      and called them by name.

      Now Sam! Now Quil!
      Now Jared and Embry!
      On, Seth! On, Leah!
      On, Collin and Brady!

      To the top of the hill,
      to the top of the dirt wall!
      Now, run away! Run away!
      Run away all!

      As dry leaves before
      the wolverines fly,
      When they meet with a predator,
      it gives them a high.

      So up to the Cullen's housetop
      the brothers they flew.
      With a mouthful of goodies
      and Jacob too.

      And then in a twinkling,
      I heard on the roof.
      The prancing and pawing
      of ten gaily goofs.

      As I drew in my head
      and was turning around,
      Through the window, Jacob
      came with a bound.

      He was crouching in his russet fur
      from his head to his foot.
      And his clothes, strapped to his ankle
      with snow and soot.

      A paw full of meat
      he had flung on his back,
      And he looked like a beggar
      just opening his sack.

      His eyes how they glowed!
      His teeth were like razors!
      His paws were all muddy!
      Gosh, I hope Bella got him shavers.

      His droll huge mouth
      was dripping with funk,
      And the beard on his chin
      was as dark as his trunk.

      The stump of a rump
      he held his teeth tight,
      And the smell it encircled
      made my head light.

      He had a broad hairy face
      and a big round belly
      That shook when he barked
      like a bowl full of jelly.

      He was muscular and pumped--
      a right jolly young wolf,
      And I laughed when I saw him,
      in spite of myself.

      A wink of his eye
      and a snort from his head,
      Soon gave me to know
      I had nothing to dread.

      He barked not a word,
      but went straight to his work,
      And filled all the stockings
      with meaty jerks.

      And laying his paw
      aside of his snout,
      And giving a nod
      he stood in a crouch.

      He sprang to the ground,
      to his pack gave a bark,
      And away they all flew
      like a candle and its spark.

      But I heard him howl
      as he ran out of sight,

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